SAINT PETER, MN- The opportunity has come again, fellow Gusties, for us to pick the headliner for the Spring Concert. Last time this happened, we were crushed by the inclusion of 3OH!3, […]
Bring Jesse McCartney to Campus You Cowards
Glory Hole Discovered in Olin Bathroom
This morning at 8:52 AM, a shocking discovery was made in the 3rd floor men’s restroom. A hole was carved into the wall that separates the mens restroom to the womens. “I […]
Five Ways to Fuck With the System
1: Don’t actually make a list of ways to fuck with the system.
Bored Gus Bus Driver Caught Doing Donuts in Parking Lot
SAINT PETER, MN- Saturday night, Senior Casey Enblat reported witnessing the Gus Bus spinning mad donuts in the Co-ed parking lot as she waited for a ride. It was an unusually slow […]
Nemo On The Run After Campus Saftey Busts Meth Empire
SAINT PETER, MN: Nemo, the beloved campus cat, has been a rare creature these past few weeks with many wondering where our fluffy boy went. Campus Saftey has recently made the public […]
GAC Parking Spaces Officially More Valuable than Gold
“I literally sold my kidney for a parking space last week,” said Sophomore Kristine Wilson, in reference to the newly emerged parking space black market. “A first-row spot in the plex parking […]
Fourth Crown Reviews: Spirit Halloween
SAINT PETER, MN— Spirit Halloween, a trademark piece of Spooky Season iconography. The yellow, black, and orange banner stands as a comforting symbol splashed over the faint remnants of a long since […]
10 Ways to Scare Off Prospective Students
SAINT PETER, MN- Tired of dodging high schoolers left and right? Here’s how to make sure you never have to see any of them again. Tell them about the annual Gustavus […]
The Fourth Crown Reviews: Co-ed
ST PETER MN- Homecoming weekend has come and gone, and the campus was subjected to the fanfare of Gusties from years past returning to campus and refusing to close their yearbooks. We […]
Cool Professor Replaces Participation Grade With Vibe Checks
SAINT PETER, MN— A freshly tenured, cool boy Professor made a stir at Gustavus this week by annoying he would be removing the participation grade from his class grade breakdown. Thrilled by […]
