The Fourth Crown

SAINT PETER, MN— After the growing presence of COVID-19 in the country, the good students and faculty of Gustavus were forced to leave campus by the end of the week. This came […]

SAINT PETER, MN- A Tinder hookup scheduled for Friday evening has been cancelled by one of the parties involved due to COVID-19 concerns. Complex resident Ryan Portsmith reported that he’s “caught several […]

SAINT PETER, MN- After a long, sweaty, passionate, and dare I say sexy, battle for approval, the Gustavus Adolphus Hentai Club has received approval by the College Recognition Committee as a recognized […]

SAINT PETER, MN— Gordon Ramsay, well-known chef, and better-known swear-word-sayer, came to Gustavus Adolphus College for his restaurant renovation show 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Needless to say, it went fan-fucking-tastic. […]

SAINT PETER, MN- Opinion contributor Joe Hurburt, Junior, writes: “Look, sometimes dorm life can get lonely. I just want someone that can be on-call when I want to hang out. Excuse me […]

SAINT PETER, MN- In a progressive and innovative move, Visiting Professor Chad Bernsworth added a promise in his newly crafted syllabus to allow for three hangover-caused absences during the semester, no questions […]

SAINT PETER, MN- The opportunity has come again, fellow Gusties, for us to pick the headliner for the Spring Concert. Last time this happened, we were crushed by the inclusion of 3OH!3, […]

This morning at 8:52 AM, a shocking discovery was made in the 3rd floor men’s restroom. A hole was carved into the wall that separates the mens restroom to the womens. “I […]