SAINT PETER—With the largest drug seizure in Minnesota private college history, Gustavus Campus Safety chalked up a major victory in the college’s anti-drug initiative by confiscating $4.9 million worth of heroin, cocaine, and methamphetamine from the substance-free section of Norelius Hall on Sunday.

Director of Campus Safety Song Biermacher said, “This is big for us. We never thought of looking into that section of Co-ed. We just trusted the title ‘substance-free.’ Little did we know that with a little investigation including a few wiretaps and twenty-four hour surveillance, we would stop a multi-million dollar drug ring.”

“Our personnel’s cooperation with Campus Safety was key in this bust,” said Director of Residential Life Chuck Pann. “I’m really proud of the CFs here. Some of them did 15-hour shifts on duty. Incredible efforts.”

Where the investigation goes from here remains to be seen. Biermacher said, “We have the drugs now, and that’s great. But when you take out a machine that illicitly brings in that kind of money, you’re going to see where the corruption really lies. Without doubt there is money laundering and fraud running rampant here in the student body, the faculty, and the administration. Now we’ve got to go find it.”

The administration has been criticized in recent weeks for not cracking down on substance use on campus, but this action has silenced critics for the time being.