INFOGRAPHIC: The Fourth Crown’s Valentine’s Day Tips

With Valentine’s Day upon us, The Fourth Crown has all the tips you need for a successful, romantic holiday:

  • Avoid showering for the week leading up to Valentines Day and instead apply a different cologne each day.

  • Spending the day alone? Cheer up by ordering a sheet cake from the caf decorated with an image of Leonardo DiCaprio and spend the entire night eating it alone in your room while you watch The Runaway Bride.

  • Let your special someone know you’re interested by peeing on all of their belongings.

  • Attract the attention of your potential mate by strutting and flailing your plumage.

  • Assert dominance by killing competing love interests in front of your potential mate and wrapping them in your web.

  • Initiate interaction with the male with light scratching, pawing, and purring.

  • Males: Remember that females will look exclusively at the pattern on your belly fur.

  • If worst comes to worst, call up your ex and spend the night with them.