Faculty Senate Preemptively Calls for Next President’s Resignation

SAINT PETER—Responding to Candidate #1’s appearance on campus to become the next president of Gustavus Adolphus College, the Faculty Senate has already preemptively called for their resignation, citing “an inability to understand the issues that students and faculty face…probably.”

Faculty Senate Chair Donald Westerling faced reporters Wednesday saying, “Do we know Candidate #1? No. Frankly, we don’t even know their damn name. But we didn’t know President Ohle before he came to campus either. We are just covering our bases.”

Candidate #1, who is visiting campus on Wednesday, responded, “I don’t even have the job yet. At least give me a chance to piss off the majority of the campus before you ask for my resignation.”

Following the faculty’s open session with the candidate this afternoon, the senate convened and called a vote, which overwhelmingly supported the resignation of the interviewing candidate. When asked whether this hostile attitude could potentially influence the faculty senate’s relationship with the new president, Westerling responded, “Not if we nip this in the bud right now and make sure that they are never instated.”

Since the Faculty Senate’s call for resignation, several student groups have joined in on the cause. Senior Daniel Uphoff led a small group in protest on the lawn of the president’s on-campus house, but he was promptly escorted away from the premises after being told that Candidate #1 was not president yet and, in fact, did not yet live there.

The Faculty Senate remains steadfast. Westerling remarked, “We have never felt like we might not like someone more than we do today. So today is the day we stand up against someone who maybe doesn’t stand for what we believe.”


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