Professor Engages in Two-Hour Stare Down with Uncooperative Students

SAINT PETER—In an iconic battle between student laziness and a professor’s indefatigable ability to wait for his students to contribute to class discussion, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies Ron Trippe and the students of his 8:00 am Community Advocacy section engaged in a stare down that lasted 110 minutes. The record-setting clash was punctuated by Trippe asking various students “what are your thoughts?” and making flitting eye contact before moving on to another uncontributing target.

A visibly frustrated Dr. Trippe said after the grueling silence ended after nearly two hours, “I know those little shits didn’t do the reading. They expected me to just tell them what they needed to know. But I just got tenure, so whatever. If they refuse to talk, so do I.”

Senior Communication Studies Major Lacy Ford remarked, “I’m pretty sure no one in our class took the time to read the assignment, but to be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure if he read the material. And so we sat in an eternal stalemate, only to be interrupted by the sweet, audible chime of the chapel’s bells.”

Mark Mjiers, a sophomore in Trippe’s course, described the section as “so freaking awkward.” Mjiers evaded contribution by leafing through his haphazardly underlined photocopy of the excerpt from the book Advocacy & Activism in the Information Age and occasionally stealing a glance at his MacBook. “I was so bored, I even considered filling out my Housing Contract on WebAdvisor.”

“It’s not my job to inspire, motivate, and engage these students,” said Trippe, whose job it is to inspire, motivate, and engage his students. “You know what? I’m prepared to do it again,” said Trippe. “That will teach them to do their fucking work for once.”

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