BREAKING—Tensions are running high following an open letter to the Building Bridges committee from Gustavus’ very own bridge building club, the Sawdustin’ Gusties. The carpentry club, which mainly focuses on building elevated wooden and metal structures to connect two different areas, has criticized Building Bridges’ unoriginality and insensitivity in choosing their organization name. Their critique comes just days from the Building Bridges Conference, which the carpentry club says is misleading and deceptive, as no physical bridges will actually be built there.

The bridge building club, which until now has remained in relative obscurity, takes offense at the social justice group’s infringement on their name. The group has existed on campus for over four years, yet has relatively few bridges or other carpentry projects to show for all their complaining. The Sawdustin’ Gusties wrote, “Building Bridges is an organization that blatantly intrudes on our organization’s dedication to fine woodworking. Our students are committed to building strong, sturdy, REAL bridges. Any organization which challenges our integrity will be met with our wrath.” The letter goes on, “It is clear that our group is a cut above the rest, and their insensitivity goes against the grain of conduct that is expected of student organizations. We are pining for a return to the old days, when we were unopposed by groups with unimaginative names. We wood never be challenged.”

The letter to the committee, which was laced with cringeworthy and ultimately unimpressive carpentry puns, was received with hostility by the students of Building Bridges, who are passionate about the symbolic and inspiring nature of their organization’s name. “We strive to make connections; to inspire change and conversation between conference-goers,” said committee co-chair Kelly Dumais. “Our mission is far more powerful and transcendent than just joining together a few 2x4s and some plywood.” Dumais continues, “The questions we pose and the metaphoric bridges we build extend far into the future, stretching generations. How long will their wooden bridges actually last? 5 years? Maybe 10 if they put a good weatherproof stain on it? They really don’t have a case here.”

The Building Bridges Conference is this Saturday, March 8th. Students receive a free ticket and can pick them up outside the Caf at the Building Bridges table or at 8am on the morning of the conference. The Sawdustin’ Gusties have revealed that they too will set up their own tabling this week to help promote their anti-Building Bridges campaign. Look for the shitty, handbuilt, cobbled-together table next to the couches.