SAINT PETER—Amongst the flurry of activity on campus during the week, students checking their inboxes late Wednesday afternoon were relatively unsurprised to find a survey asking their feelings towards campus surveys. The email, which included a short, impersonal message which was barely able to veil the fact that the sender only really cared about students’ responses, was sent out just after 4pm last night. The message included a link to an online survey designed specifically to determine how students felt towards taking surveys. The email stated, “this survey on surveys will only take about 5-10 minutes.”
Dean of Students Jonass Vann Heckee, whose office sent out the survey regarding students’ sentiments towards taking surveys, commented, “We feel that it is important to gauge how students respond to the constant influx of surveys, so it seemed appropriate to utilize a survey to get a good student response.”
Sophomore Jack Ripple, a self proclaimed “survey fiend”, saw the email just minutes after it was sent out and took immediate action. “As soon as one of those surveys comes to my inbox, I just go off. Nothing gets me foaming at the mouth like making my voice heard! Let me at that shit!!! Res Life, chaplains, peer assistants, I don’t care!!! I’ll do ‘em all! WITNESS THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE!!!!”
At press time, Ripple was last seen logging into every computer in the library computer lab to repeatedly take the survey.
The Fourth Crown values your opinion. Take our survey now to contribute your input. The survey will only take 5-10 minutes. Take the survey here.
Categories: OFF THE HILL