With spring break fast approaching, students are eagerly anticipating a week away from classes and cold weather. Here are The Fourth Crown’s tips to ensure a worthwhile and relaxing week off.

• Self conscious about your pale Minnesotan skin but don’t want to shell out for a fake tan? Make the most efficient use of your time by coloring every inch of your skin orange with Magic Marker in class while you are supposed to be taking your Bio midterm.

• Don’t forget that schoolwork comes first, even if that means declining a few invitations to raging beach parties.

• If you aren’t traveling anywhere warm for break, recreate the tropical, sunny beach by turning your room thermostat up to maximum, constantly running a humidifier, and borrowing a few grow lights from the Gustavus greenhouse. This is known as a “Minnesota Steamer.”

• Airfare is expensive, but you know what isn’t? Hitchhiking. All the way to Panama City.

• Who needs 80 proof when you’ve got historic proof? Get out-of-your-mind schwasted on history by visiting iconic Savannah, Georgia, a colonial and Civil War port city that is sure to make you black-out with its copious amounts of historical significance.

• Flight delays can be frustrating. If your plane leaves late make sure to get it back on track by forcing your way into the cockpit and flying the plane yourself.

• Binge-watching Baywatch is a good alternative to actually running on the beach alongside a shirtless David Hasselhoff.

• Still don’t have plans set for break? Alaskan cruises are still available at discount prices!

• Prepare yourself for a truly authentic vacation in Cancún by enrolling in a rigorous Spanish language study course.