Gus’s Travels: Bethel University

‘Gus’s Travels’ is an ongoing series of articles written by sophomore The Fourth Crown contributor Gus Andersson. Gus spends one day each week at a different Minnesota college, bringing back insights on the cultural and educational differences between Gustavus and the week’s institution.

Week 2: St. Olaf College

Week 3: University of St. Thomas

Travels into Several Remote Campuses of the State. In Several Parts. By Gus Andersson, First a Gustie, and then an Explorer of Several Schools

Bethel University

Saint Paul, MN, April 25, 2014

What a blessed day it has been here at Bethel University! I arrived at campus early this morning, and headed straight to Campus Security to sign the Bethel Covenant. After checking in, I was permitted to explore campus around 9:00 am, just in time for morning chapel.  I followed the flock of Christ’s favorite coeds into the service, where I was amazed to see all 3,417 students sit side-by-side in the pews under the sternly loving gaze of a score of Campus Security officers. Once the service concluded at 4:30 pm, the chapel doors were unbarred, and the student body was allowed to exit the building and head to the various student faith groups around campus.

After chapel, I was able to sneak off to do a little bit of exploring of Bethel’s gorgeous campus. I started off in the Brushaber Commons, where I walked past the on-site Zale’s, Jared, Kay’s, and Helzberg engagement ring stores to arrive at the Monson Dining Center. There I dined on a thrilling meal of mashed potatoes, cauliflower, and a turkey and mayonnaise sandwich; all finished off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. My only critique of the food service at Bethel would be that you’re not allowed to have multiple meats on the same plate, in keeping with the Covenant’s firm stance that flesh and flesh can only mix in the context of a heterosexual marriage.

After dinner, I surveyed the night’s veritable smorgasbord of “holy leisure” events, and narrowed it down between a forum on “Your Wife & Dorm Life” and a performance by one of Bethel’s top campus music ministries, Christ the ROCK! I decided to attend the latter, held in Bethel’s Benson Great Hall. I was captivated by the juicy chords shredded for Jesus Christ’s shed blood. My favorite part of the show was the tribute of Prince’s “Purple Rain,” rewritten into “Purple Reign (Of Christ!).” This Prince piece dedicated to the Prince of Peace was one rockingly reverent jam.

The Bethel Commons after hours (8:00 pm).

The Bethel Commons after hours (8:00 pm).

After a fabulous hour of singin’ for the ‘ssiah, I wandered to a Speed Dating event hosted by the Bethel Alliance of Married Students (BAMS). After the session and following ceremonies ended, my bride and I left for our honeymoon at the student center’s Royal Grounds coffee shop. Our time together was a great illustration of how “time flies when you’re having fun,” because by the time we reached the bottom of our caffeine-free drinks, it was already 7:57 pm, and time for the Royals to head back to their dormitories for evening prayer, room searches, and slumber. I shook my love’s hand goodbye, and hopped back in my car and drove on back to little Saint Peter in time to head to Friday’s Dive Dance, hosted by the Reds.

While I truly enjoyed my time “getting wild for the Christ-Child” at Bethel University, once I wafted the liquor-laden fumes of the Dive, I knew I was home. Abandoning the Bethel tenet of “leaving room for the Holy Spirit,” I ground with that girl from Gen Chem with a newfound appreciation for the Gustavian rights to pornography, alcohol, and the pursuit of premarital physical contact. On an unrelated note, the Fourth Crown is looking for recommendations for affordable divorce attorneys in the St. Peter- St. Paul areas.

Make sure to join me again next week to read about my trip to St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN!

This series is inspired by Jonathan Swift’s classic, Gulliver’s Travels.