New Student Org Demands “Faster Average Processing” for Online Videos

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Hinkle attributes this view as his largest inspiration for founding the Initiative for Faster Average Processing.

SAINT PETER-The newest addition to a growing wave of student social movements has been founded by Jake Hinkle of Gibbs Hall, who aims to improve wifi in residence halls. The group has experienced prolific growth, with the vast majority of res hall males joining this member of the coalition of groups seeking increased student agency and administrational transparency. The group has taken the name Initiative for Faster Average Processing, or IFAP.

When asked about the movement’s origins, Hinkle responded, “Me and my guys were hanging out and I started complaining about how slow the internet was the night before when I was trying to watch a… video for class and how pissed I was and all of them totally agreed. It kept buffering right when things were starting to get going. And by the time the load would finish I wasn’t in the mood to, you know, learn.” Hinkle went on, “After a pretty blue semester from loading delays, I needed a way to get the ball rolling on this. I’ve been getting really backed up… like with my homework and stuff, and it’s stressing me out.”

Jake’s girlfriend, Brenda Fern, expressed her support for the group, “He won’t stop until the internet is fixed. I’ve never seen him so worked up about about anything. It’s nice that he found something that means as much to him as Gusties For Abstinence means to me.”

Hinkle shared several slogan ideas for IFAP, including “IFAP: Until Our Wifi Is Poor No More!”