SAINT PETER—Following the completion of a week living together in section 3C of Norelius Hall, first-year student Christie Jensen has reached the conclusion that her section of 22 18-year-old women have made “unbreakable” bonds of friendship that is unlikely to ever be torn apart. The realization was broadcast to the world via a Facebook post made Sunday afternoon, with an attached image of seven of the section’s residents watching an animated movie in the communal lounge.

“Even though Rachel [Swenson] totally saw my post and still didn’t like it, I’m still so confident that this group of girls will be best friends through thick and thin,” said Jensen in an interview with The Fourth Crown. “We all just share this quirky sense of humor—like last weekend, when we all stayed in and did arts and crafts with our CF on a Friday night. So silly!”

Jensen remains unfazed that the attendance of such gatherings has hovered around the mid-single digits. “We’re a super busy bunch, but at the end of the day, we still love one another to death. It’s the best.”

Jensen’s comments were dissonant from many of her section mates. Rachel Swenson, for instance, tweeted “gettin F***ed up tonight 4 th  Dive [sic] haha #GACcity” at approximately the same time the arts and crafts session was transitioning to a discussion of how confusing the Courtyard Café’s hours were.

At press time, Jensen’s post had amassed 15 likes; 7 of which came from family members.