WASHINGTON, DC— Vice President Joe Biden is nearing the completion of a second day awaiting for the results of the midterm Vice Presidential election. According to sources close to the VP, Biden has kept his eyes glued to the television since polls began closing across the country on Tuesday evening, waiting eagerly for news if he has been elected to another term as Vice President.
Mr. Biden, sitting among packed suitcases ready to immediately depart Washington DC should the election results not lean in his favor, is continually flicking between major news networks, including CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Comedy Central, and CBS. Mr. Biden has reportedly been breaking hours of silent watching with the word “Malarkey!”
The office of the President of the United States has not responded directly to the Vice President’s election anxiety, but has asked the American public to “just let this one go on a little bit longer.”
Mr. Biden’s only public statement on his hopes for the election was a Tweet sent “Irregardless [sic] of what happens tomorrow, it’s been a wild three years. Haha Vote Oboma [sic] Biden tomorrow! #MeForVP.”
Categories: OFF THE HILL