SAINT PETER— After recently attending a Cultural Anthropology lecture in which race and gender were revealed to be social constructs, first-year student and Edina native Thomas Wakasha has become a staunch advocate for “the gross injustices I face each and every day.”

Wakasha, who failed to attend the first half of the lecture, has now applied the theory of social construction to reveal inequality in his own life, including his lack of accessible drinking beer, employment exclusion for his sub-2.0 GPA, and discrimination for excessively listening to Mac Miller.

When asked about his newfound knowledge of constructive theory, Wakasha claimed, “I only caught the back end of the lecture, but I got the gist.” The white upper middle class son of a gastroenterologist and homemaker continued, “The professor was going on about how a lot of people are privileged and how it makes it way hard for other people like me to get ahead. Super unjust.”

When asked if he would be attending Diversity Center or GWIL events to try and stimulate positive social change with his new awareness, Thomas refused. “I already know that gender roles and race are social constructs, what more is there to do on that? I need to fix injustice in my own life.”

When asked for further examples about specific injustices in his life, Wakasha elaborated, “If we’re all equal then why I didn’t get a scholarship? Why do I have a C in my FTS? I show up most of the time and do, like, most of the work, but get way worse results. And don’t even get me started on Habitat for Humanity. Why would people get a shelter built for them and I get nothing? Total social construct.”