SAINT PETER— With several group trips to destinations the world over having left campus this week, and others departing earlier this month, many students on January Term courses abroad are eager to see if their 2-4 week trips can instill in them the same pretentiousness and douchebaggery enjoyed by students who spend entire semesters abroad.

One notable J-Term trip is the Gustavus Choir tour to London, Wales, and Paris. Choir member and emergent douchebag Sam Prenza expressed that “even though we are only spending two weeks in these thrilling locations, I hope we can bring the snobbery of London and the arrogance of Paris back to our boring peers left behind in Saint Peter.” Prenza continued that “above all else, we are serving an important role in the world by forcibly bursting into foreign environments and giving them a glimpse of the wonders that the United States, specifically Gustavus, have to offer. This is a two way conversation between our American pride and their willing foreign ears.”

Upon recently completing his third semester abroad, senior Erik Johnson publicly disagreed with Prenza.  “A worldly traveler, like myself, knows that it takes at least six weeks to reach a comfortable level of saturation in a well cultivated environment. Perhaps even longer in a country that isn’t constrained by the terse tetherings of the English tongue. In my opinion, one has not traveled until they have experienced a verbose dialogue with an individual who does not speak one of the Western world’s dominant languages.”

A majority of students who are choosing to complete their studies without traversing the world have made known their feelings towards the pretentious attitudes of the students going abroad. Junior Alex Milner was recently overheard telling his friends, “ I wish that they would just shut up about how great it is that they are going to Europe and other countries like that. I know there is a lot of culture in those places, but what is culture even? Does it some how make them better than us? I bet we have a lot of culture in Minnesota. Maybe even more than France, Germany, Paris and London and places like that.”

When reached for a comment about hosting American college students French hotel manager, Garan Zidane, simply placed his head in his palm and muttered, “merde.” Which our analysts guessed meant something along the lines of, “Yay! I love American students. They are so great, polite and understanding of our vast cultural differences. It is truly a treasure getting to be around large packs of them.”