Saint Peter — Following a lackluster campus tour and a rather dry chat with the admissions office, Prior Lake High School senior Jimmy Norton instantly made his $300 deposit of commitment to the school after seeing a Gustavus J-Term themed Snapchat filter. The move was not entirely surprising to sources close to Norton, who claim he all but worships the social media app, yet the brash commitment absolutely shocked those in the admissions department.
Director of Admissions Amy Schuring was taken aback by the commitment. “My lord, that actually worked?” she asked. “That was totally meant to make kids think that we in the admish depart were still hip and now. I never thought a prospective student would be so moved to actually commit the next four years of their lives here because of it.”
Many of the department’s previous attempts at appearing relevant have not landed quite as successfully. In 2013 the department launched a campaign on MySpace that went largely unnoticed. They followed that up in 2014 with a selfie pad outside of Old Main that instructed a demographic of 16-24 year olds exactly how to take a proper selfie. “Sure, a lot of our social media campaigns were a little late, but after this commitment we are confident that we are on the right track towards better reaching today’s youth,” said Shuring.
Norton’s only comment about the commitment was the following, “Look, if any school values the rad app that is Snappy McChat like Jimmy Norts then clearly that is the school for me. Just imagine me taking a mean mirror pic in Coed with that filter attached to it, maybe with the caption ‘Straight flexin @ Stavus,’ tossed on top of there. That’ll change the game, man. That’ll change the game.”
Categories: CAMPUS NEWS