SAINT PETER— With Valentine’s Day in full bloom, Hallmark marketing professionals are celebrating the success of a new way to capitalize on this day of excessive materialism, expensive lingerie, and overpriced chocolate. Though Valentine’s Day has emptied the pockets of committed men for years, Hallmark offers an alternative option for the man who isn’t quite ready for serious dedication.
Hallmark’s latest line of cards, Lowkey Lovers Need Love has already made its way into the hearts and homes of the individuals in relationships categorized as “less than traditional.” The new Hallmark series consists of top of the line cards with passionate inscriptions like, “Happy Valentine’s Day to the girl who’s temporarily replacing my ex!”, “I’ll never make you my girlfriend, but I need to get laid!” and “We’re both single and desperate, so why not?”
Women, too, can purchase their own cards with heartfelt messages reading, “I hate that you can’t commit but I’m too desperate to leave!” and “I know I could do better but I’m scared of being alone!” These cards are projected to serve as the perfect addition to the drunken, desperate and downright depressing date of February 14.
This Valentine’s Day, and every Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to remind that not so special someone of their mediocre importance in your life.
Categories: CAMPUS NEWS