CAMPUS NEWS

First-Year Bases Political Opinions Entirely on House of Cards Knowledge

SAINT PETER— Insisting that he was informed on current political issues, first year Devon McDonald reportedly partook in a lengthy discussion with fellow first years earlier this afternoon using only information he had learned from the TV show House of Cards. McDonald, who has yet to take any college level political science classes, asserted throughout the debate that his information was trustworthy because he “got a D+ in high school civics” and had “already streamed all of Season 3.”

The informed discussion of political campaigns was hijacked by McDonald, who quickly began utilizing the events in the fictional political drama as concrete evidence in the conversation. Onlookers reported that McDonald saw no logical problems with using a quote from the show to back up every argument he made.

“Things started off fine, but before long he started to get out of control,” said first year Janine Reynolds. “I think it was when he responded to a question by saying ‘The road to power is paved with hypocrisy and casualties’ that everyone realized the show was the extent of his political knowledge.” Soon afterwards McDonald reportedly expressed the opinion that “Democracy is overrated” and that a plot to humiliate U.S. political leaders was an entirely plausible and rational way of addressing politics.

“Looking at all the problems in politics today, the best way to think about it is to ask yourself, ‘What would Frank Underwood do?’” said McDonald to reporters afterwards. He went on to explain that the show was credible and was a perfectly valid source of information. “All the political stuff they talk about is real. Because Congress is real and there are senators and stuff. They’re not just making all this up, you know?”

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