SAINT PETER— With springtime fast approaching, seasonal enthusiasts are flocking to the Gustavus Adolphus Campus to observe the return of the migratory Adirondacks. Scientists and students alike are ecstatic about what this may mean for the beautiful creatures that call GAC home.
Said Clem Hansen of the National Society of Migratory Birds and Creatures (NSMBC), “We are absolutely thrilled. Usually March in Minnesota is much too cold for the Adirondacks to survive, but this year, climate change has shaken things up enough that they are already heading home. We could not be more pleased.”
However, some are concerned that if the ever-changing Minnesota weather takes a turn for the worse, the outlook may look dire for these docile critters. The Adirondacks (lawnus chaerious) require a habitat that can sustain outdoor studying, ample Frisbee conditions, and longboarding. If the Adirondacks return and the weather turns wintery, their mating patterns may become disrupted, sources report. This would be extremely detrimental to the next generation.
Despite these worries, the NSMBC is not concerned. “The Adirondacks are an adaptable breed. After being at Gustavus for this long, they’re pretty used to shitty weather. They’ll be fine. We just can’t wait to watch people try to get out of them again,” Clem stated while peering through a pair of binoculars. “They look ridiculous! We love it.”
The society has issued an official statement that the return of the Adirondacks is second only to the return of the Eagle Cam.
Categories: CAMPUS NEWS