CAMPUS NEWS

Four Sophomores Arrested in Room Draw-Related Identity Theft Ring

SAINT PETER— Four sophomores have been arrested and charged with identity theft after Campus Safety and Federal Bureau of Investigation Officers raided the students’ quad in Uhler Hall. The authorities became suspicious after a Campus Safety wiretap revealed the sophomores to be suspiciously unpanicked throughout the leadup to Room Draw.

Among the evidence recovered by Officers were photographs of the college’s pristine apartment buildings, several stacks of stolen Room Draw numbers, and elaborate plans to temporarily disguise one of the alleged identity thieves as a Junior with a Room Draw number in the high 3700s.

In addition to seeking a better room draw number for themselves, the four sophomores now in federal custody had been hacking into hundreds of student accounts to pawn off Room Draw numbers to needy first year and sophomore students.

Initial reports also indicate the four sophomores had also been planning a scheme to fund the construction of a new apartment complex by wiring leftover money from first year students’ caf accounts. This plan seems to have been foiled, however, by the arrival of sushi in the Marketplace, which now claims approximately 85% of the meal plan funds of first year women.

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Categories: CAMPUS NEWS