Report: Women’s Soccer Receives Only 78% the Disinterest as Men’s

WASHINGTON D.C.— Following the victory of the United States Women’s National Team late on Sunday afternoon, a new report issued by the Brookings Institute revealed that women’s soccer receives only 78% of the disinterest as men’s soccer. The research, coming in the wake of the U.S. Women’s victory over Japan in the final round of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup, indicates that women playing professional soccer struggle to achieve the same levels of disinterest and apathy from the American public.

“We found that while Americans really don’t give any shits about men’s soccer, their apathy towards women’s soccer was slightly, though noticeably, less intense,” said researcher Jamie Davies.

The study, conducted throughout the recent World Cup tournaments, also indicated that women’s soccer players are also significantly more likely to have their name be recognized by a member of the U.S. general population than their male counterparts. “Our report shows that despite putting in equal time and effort, these young women are not receiving the same obscurity that their male counterparts get to enjoy,” commented Davies. “This is definitive research that confirms the existence of inequality in the sports industry. Women deserve exactly the same amount of obscurity and invisibility as men.”

At press time, American males were widely discrediting the research and insisting that “the 78 percent stuff is total bull.”

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