Tips for Surviving Your Greeter Group Experience

Your Greeter and Greeter Group will be one of your first places to get to know your fellow Gusties. Use this guide from The Fourth Crown to help you prepare for the Greeter experience.

  • Greeters may seem enthusiastic, but remember that they prepare for move-in day by licking car batteries.
  • Orientation Pro Hack! Ask to see the Olin Dungeons on the tour with your greeter and see the remains of last year’s physics majors!
  • If your Greeter’s voice ever drops to a normal volume, locate the emergency Epi-Pen located under his or her bandana and inject it into the upper thigh immediately. The adrenaline will return your Greeter to his or her default volume.
  • Test your Greeter’s focus while chanting the Rouser by softly breathing in his or her ear!
  • You may play introduction games or do icebreakers with your entire group. When in doubt, introduce yourself as Thraxnor, Spectre of the Abyss.
  • If your Greeter is an old bearded man who offers you a ride on his Harley, call St. Peter Police. They’ve been looking for this guy.
  • Following the instructions of your Greeter is a must. If they hand you a ski mask, an empty duffel bag, and tell you to meet them at the President’s house at nightfall, make sure to do exactly as they say.