Sophomore Prefers ‘Experiential Learning’ Over Attending Nobel Lecture on Alcoholism

SAINT PETER, MN—  Describing the Conference proceedings thus far as “boring as shit,” Sophomore Stephen McGodfrey announced to friends that he would not be attending the next lecture on alcoholism, instead opting for an out-of-classroom learning experience in his room in Gibbs.

“Fuck that,” commented McGodfrey. “I just, uh, don’t learn best in, uh, lecture setting, ya know? I prefer to really get into it.” McGodfrey left the arena after complaining that he couldn’t sit through another talk. “I ain’t sitting for another forty minutes. The forties of King Cobra that I’ve got in my room is way better.”

McGodfrey was quick to propose this learning model, following intense practice with this type of experiential learning all summer and during homecoming celebrations…

“I consider myself a method learner,” said McGodfrey, “ So, last year when I heard the conference was about binge drinking or whatever, I was like hell yeah. Me and my buddies bought a dirty thirty and got right down to it.”
Professors describe McGodfrey as a, “dedicated learner”. Professor Abrams commented, “He truly learns in different ways. When we were studying photosynthesis in class, he told me he went to the Arb and became one with nature. I was so impressed, I gave him an A right then and there”. McGodfrey has had a plethora of experiential learning experiences. He once stood up in the middle of a lecture about Walden, exclaimed “I’M GOING TO THE WOODS”, and didn’t return for weeks. He maintains a 3.6 GPA.

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