CAMPUS NEWS

Senior Taking Intro Course Finally Has Chance To Look Smart, Contribute Too Much

SAINT PETER — After three years of riding on the peripheral edges of class discussion, senior Adam Shepperd is finally able to over participate and look intelligent thanks to his enrollment in Cultural Awareness, an introductory sociology course.

Shepperd, often assumed to be an exceedingly average student, has fully committed to his role as the annoying, all-knowing knowing and enthusiastic class contributor. “That guy says some mind blowing stuff literally every other minute,” said first year Jeb Billings. “I can’t keep up with his relentless ivory tower monologues. Punch me in the face if I ever become that,” he added.

Relying on a nearly completed political science major, Shepperd is clearly too intelligent for the 101 course. However, due to credit requirements he decided to enroll in the class that is casually referred to as the ‘tee-ball of academia’.

“Adam is very smart and I am lucky to have him contribute in my class, but if he could stop bringing up how the works of Althusser and Engels somehow relate to the culture of Southern cattle ranch hands or displaced Indian refugees, I’m sure the rest of the class could learn a little more,” said visiting professor Carla Downing.

“What the hell do I care about how Alzheimer’s and Laura Ingles Wilder have to do with different cultures?” asked first year Randy Samuels. “I just want a decent grade. This dude keeps tossing out hundred dollar references that fly right over me.”

Shepperd is unapologetic about his newfound zeal for class participation. “We’ve all been in a class where one person dominates discussion. We’ve all hated that person. But they are a necessary component to the class superstructure. Without hard workers this class wouldn’t be able to properly function. Sure, it would be easier if we all worked hard together, but that is an unrealistic goal. Instead I will take it upon myself to work hard for the professor, the rest of my class and for the greater good. I think it’s good to hear information from someone else rather than just the person who is in charge. Maybe my work ethic will compel another student to better themselves as well and speak up. That, and I really like to feel smart. It makes not yet having a concrete job after college easier to swallow,” said Shepperd.

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