CAMPUS NEWS

Senior ISIS Official In Tears During Final Verse of ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’

RAQQA, SYRIA— Growing visibly emotional by the musical swell during the final verse, Senior ISIS Official Amir al-Karim could reportedly no longer hold back his tears late on Saturday night during the conclusion of ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful.’ Watching the live-stream from an undisclosed location in the ISIS-held capital city of Raqqa, al-Karim confirmed that the music culmination “gave me all the feels” and softened his once-unbreachable resolve to build a global Islamic caliphate.

“I had been telling myself all year that I wouldn’t lose it during that last verse,” he reported as tears streamed down his cheeks. “But after hearing the orchestra, the singers, and the magnificent crash cymbals, I just broke down.” al-Karim was barely able to make it to the end of the song, at which time reports indicate he used the thunderous applause to cover the sounds of his audible sobbing.

Reports also confirm that al-Karim’s friends repeatedly rolled their eyes as they watched him grow more and more emotional. “What is the big deal with this song?” said first-year ISIS member Mohammad Ali al-Musri. “All night he viewed images of Western blasphemers and it has filled him with immeasurable joy. I wish he would just shut up about it.”

al-Karim was reportedly unable to carry out several summary executions of infidels immediately afterwards due to the lingering emotional impact of the program.

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