7 Ways to Lose 30 Pounds Before Spring Break

Spring break season is officially here! To help you have the most fun possible, The Fourth Crown has compiled a list of the hippest, newest, most effective fast weight loss tips to help you lose those extra 30 pounds before hitting the beach.

  1. Mix 12 gallons of lemonade with six tablespoons of cayenne pepper, three cups of maple syrup and one teaspoon of salt and immerse yourself in this liquid for 72 straight hours.
  2. Prep your body for the beach by consuming 3 pounds of white sand every morning.
  3. Replace snacking on cookies and candy by chewing on one of your childhood pacifiers.
  4. Set your thermostat to 110 degrees each night to sweat out the toxins.
  5. To assuage your cravings without increasing your calorie intake, sniff an apple or gently caress a piece of chocolate cake to trick your brain into thinking that it’s eating something.
  6. Give up alcohol for a few days, it’s a source of empty calories. But let’s be real, you’re a college student. So make sure to drink enough that you give yourself alcohol poisoning and have to get your stomach pumped.
  7. Most people carry around an extra thirty pounds without even knowing it! Find a good back alley surgeon who can cut off your right leg. Goal achieved!