Gender-Neutral Greek Org Denied Right to be Exclusive, Regressive

SAINT PETER— Announcing that the group hadn’t proven themselves to be sufficiently exclusionary, the Gustavus Inter-Greek Senate announced late on Sunday that a new gender-neutral Greek organization was far too welcoming to be recognized as legitimate by the student body. Despite approving several new fraternal organizations in the last several years, Greek leadership worried that the new gender-neutral organization was “frighteningly accepting” and that it would “undermine pretty much everything we stand for.” 

“Just take one look at them! Do they look like they meet our exacting standards of exclusivity and backwards thinking? Of course not!” said the IGS in a statement. “It’s fairly clear to us from their gender neutral proposal that they share none of our antiquated notions of what a social organization consists of, so there really was no way we could let them join.”

Although they cited a possible “oversaturation” of Greek organizations as a reason to reject this gender-neutral group, the IGS officially recognized an all-male Christian social organization just days earlier. According to an IGS spokesperson, “As long as it’s an oversaturation of something we’re comfortable with, then we don’t really see a problem with that.”

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