SAINT PETER, MN – After his Monday 11:30 am FTS course on “The Sweds, Yoga, and Race in the US”, first-year Jacob Horton reportedly found the courage to declare himself as an honorary person of color. Witnesses say that the surface level analysis of race relations prompted by the reading in common book, Between the World and Me By Ta-Nehisi Coates, “pushed Horton over the edge and down a cliff.”
With approximately thirty seconds left in class Horton said, “Even though I only skimmed the first fifty-pages of Between the World and Me, I think that it was enough to give me a full-fledged idea of what it is like to be a person of color in America. All I can say is that I am confident that I fit the parameters of a person of color.”
When prompted for more explanation during the following FTS class period, Horton said,“My hour and a half long discussion with my Greeter Group really opened my eyes wide open to the injustices I could now face as an honorary person of color, yet I don’t expect any of my other friends to understand why I deserve this title or what my life experience will be like.”
In an unprecedented and subsequent press release via Facebook Horton pointed out, “During first-year orientation I could tell a profound shift had occurred in my identity-especially during our book discussion. As a white cisgender male I really felt like Ta-Nehisi Coates understood my unique and underprivileged experience.”
With his newfound identity, Horton hopes to muster enough courage to walk past the Diversity Center instead of taking the long and not so indirect way to his 8:00 am Bible course in Old Main.
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