CAMPUS NEWS

Three of Five Gustavus Trump Supporters Place Door Hangers Across Campus

SAINT PETER — Following over fifty hours of labor, three Gustavus Trump supporters successfully hung pro-Trump door decorations on the majority of the school’s dorm rooms and apartments. Of the five on-campus Trump supporters, three were available to meet with almost-certain hypocritical hatred as they surmounted the the grueling task of hanging the promotional flyers.

“I mean it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a couple of dudes strolling around campus for the equivalent of a busy work week, fighting for a lost cause,” said junior Henry Rollings-Bates. “I’m proud of what Abe, Pierce and I were able to accomplish. It was very noble of us.”

The trio of juniors, including Rollings-Bates, began hanging the signs around 9:30 AM Sunday morning in hopes of being able to convince individuals on the staunchly Democratic campus to consider voting for Trump.

“Yeah, we’re pretty sure if we keep hanging up these door things we can sway the opinion of at least one of those fuckin’ liberals.” said junior Abraham Goode.

Several individuals were impressed by the boys’ work. “Honestly, it’s cool to see them work so hard and be so excited about a candidate. Unfortunately, it is a candidate who almost everyone at this institution deeply despises,” said senior CF Hanna Bartles.

The signs immediately became popular on social media, as individuals began posting pictures of them to their snap stories. Many of the postings featured profane language and/or the use of fire to dispose of the door decorations.

“I think a lot of people are pretty receptive of our efforts. It’s always good to just keep reminding people of the person they hate. That’s a good technique to use when convincing people to vote,” said junior Pierce Kingsly. “You always gotta keep needling people!”

At the time of this article’s posting, 94% of the signs have been removed and recycled.

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