SAINT PETER, MN — Following the posting of a white nationalist flyer on the doors of Beck Hall, Gustavus students of color have assured the campus that they are definitely capable enough to handle some troll’s petty attempt to make them feel unsafe and get a rise out of the campus.
“Yeah, it sucks that shit like this still happens at Gustavus in 2017, but I mean think of what we have put up with the past year and over our whole lives. This is a bummer, but we’re going to be alright,” said sophomore Jessica Benitez.
“Frankly, it’s hard to be upset by the work of some loser who spent the weekend printing off miserable racist flyers instead of doing anything productive like homework, participating in the beer pong tournament, watching the NCAA basketball tournament, celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, getting laid or even going to church,” added junior Kevin Zhang.
The troll’s sign has unfortunately already gotten a rise out of the campus, which is annoying being that it contained no punctuation and probably cost about thirty cents to print. The flyer achieved its goal by receiving tons of views on social media and pissing off plenty of individuals, but also had the somewhat karmic side effects of bringing the campus together against racism and assuring everyone that its poster is a spineless fuck-up.
The flyer was torn down within ten minutes of posting this morning, but has skyrocketed to the front page of reddit’s racist r/pol forum.
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Categories: CAMPUS NEWS