CAMPUS NEWS

Proclaim Sends Student to Hell in Effort to Warn Others of the Dangers of Sin

SAINT PETER, MN — After seeing the results of the DLC and I Am We Are’s poster experiment, Christian student group Proclaim sent fifth-year senior Sean Joseph to hell in an effort to warn the public of the dangers of sin.

“Hey, the DLC  and IAWA caused quite a wave with their efforts to remind people of the importance of reporting bias and hate incidents. Naturally, we thought it was just as important to warn people that sinning can lead to eternal damnation. This was a good way to do it,” said junior Proclaim member Emily Thomas.

While scores of individuals were offended by sending a student to hell and posting a racist fliers, a few people were able to push past their anger and confusion to have a somewhat progressive dialogue. Undoubtedly, this is still disheartening to most, but at least a few people were able to able to slightly benefit from this fuckshow that virtually offended people from every imaginable demographic.

“Yeah, it sucks that one kid went to hell and that people were terrified for a whole day about whether or not they felt valued on this campus, but at least people know that racism and sinning sucks now. We just had to remind them of it,” said sophomore IAWA member Gabbie Jones.

The goals for each of these exercises were noble and rooted in decency, yet the execution has harmed community members and the college’s reputation. Various media sources have covered the events and have even criticized future events planned around campus. The chemistry department came under fire for considering the detonation of a chemical bomb to warn people of the dangers of chemical safety. The caf and biology departments also received heat for planning to serve food infected with e coli to students to raise awareness about the importance of food contamination.

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