Donald Trump Looking to Rage-Quit Presidency

St. Peter, MN- With the firing of FBI Director James Comey it has become clear that President Donald Trump has finally decided to rage-quit the presidency.


“Rage-Quitting,” is an idea that many of Trumps millennial supporters are familiar with. The concept is simple: if you are playing an online game and it’s clear from the beginning that you are not going to win, instead of finishing the game you decide to quit after spamming the chat with sexist profanities/racial slurs and blaming everything on your online teammates. It is, in essence, to deliberately throw the game out of frustration. Although anyone who plays a game for long enough is bound to get frustrated, internet trolls, Trump’s most enthusiastic fan-base, are by and large the most likely to actually rage-quit, if only to spite their fellow players.

After spending an entire campaign trying his hardest to demonstrate to the American people that he was completely unfit to be President of the United States, with this most recent move, a clear parallel to Nixon, it’s apparent that  he’s holding nothing back in trying to accelerate the impeachment process. Either he is incredibly guilty, or he just got tired of not being able to effect any sweeping changes in one of the most convoluted systems of governance history has produced.


It’s no secret that Trump’s first 100 days in office have been lackluster at best. With every stumble his lack of political experience is showing, much like a novice gamer, and he has already exhausted himself blaming his administration’s hardships on his fellow players, so it is only natural that rage-quitting would be his next step.

The only question is whether Trump will pursue political implosion with his signature enthusiasm. Some scholars have argued that as a point of pride The Donald will attempt to speedrun the Nixon impeachment process so that even in disaster he will have achieved some semblance of “winning.” All we can hope is that, for everyone’s sake, he smashes that particular record out of the park.

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