St. Peter, MN- After a successful Halloweekend our organization received an email (how the hell did they get our email?) from an anonymous student who confused us for Overheard or GAC Love Confessions or somebody else who cares. We felt a moral duty, however, to publish their words in the hope that they will find their bae-to-be. The following is the whole letter as submitted to us.

“Hey there. If it’s you, and you’re reading this, just know I feel like we could really be something special.

We met Friday night at an ILS house. Which one, I cannot recall. You were throwing up in the sink, dressed as a sexy pancake. I was walking through the kitchen to steal some babybel cheeses, dressed as sexy Christopher Columbus. You turned to look at me; our eyes met. I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my body. At that exact moment, you projectile vomited all over the buckles of my leather shoes that completed my costume. You giggled and walked away.

I just want you to know that I know we are meant to be. I’ve been passive about my love life these past 20 years, but I will not sit and wait and do nothing while I know that my sexy pancake, and future wife, is out there waiting for me.”