New Study Abroad Program Launched in Moldova

CHISINÂU, MDA – “The added income from these students should really aid our ailing economy,” said Moldovan president Igor Dodon. “This will be wired to our friends in Russia so they can annex us faster!”

The school’s recently-launched study abroad program in Moldova, a small eastern european country, has proven to be a rapid success. The program has gotten several dozen applicants thus far and that number is expected to increase. It is anticipated that there will be more Gusties studying in Moldova this time next year than there will be in Sweden and Germany combined.

Students participating in the Moldova program will get to experience the wonders of agrarian life. Most students work the fields outside of Tiraspol, where they will sow and then harvest barley, sugar beets, and a variety of grains. The work typically lasts from dusk until dawn, so participants can expect to have some intensive fun each day they spend in the semester. One participant described the program as “short on learning, but long on soil tillage.”



A map of scenic Moldova. The country is a well-known tourist destination in eastern Europe. Travelers have long been attracted to Moldova’s scenic trash heaps and crumbling Soviet apartment blocks.

“I’ve learned a lot during my time here,” said junior Adam Blackburn. “Before I didn’t know anything about soil nitrate levels or how to attach a yoke to a team of oxen. This’ll look really impressive on my law school application!”

Professor Crnković, the director of the Moldova program, denied any connections between the abroad mission and the Russian government. Although he and the Russian club have previously come under fire for possible interference in the student senate elections, no evidence of any similar intrigue has emerged in regards to the Moldova program.  

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