Res-Life Excited to Replace Prairie View With Newer FEMA Shelter

ST PETER MN-  The GAC Residential life office is excited to announce the revitalization of Choice dorm, and long time storehouse for academic integrity, Prairie View hall following subsequent anonymous donations. Construction will take place in a record three months, with the hall to be reopened for student, wildlife, and fungal colony occupancy at the start of the 2018-19 school year.

“We wanted to show our thanks to the organisms living in Prairie View, it takes a lot of integrity to live in a building that could literally collapse any second,” Resident Life director and area coordinator Lenjamin Mc’McMickeals said. “The CHOICE was made easier with the increase in funds from generous patrons to the college, allowing us to increase our budget by a record 72 cents!”

The new building, an exact replica of the current FEMA shelter, should boast entirely the same housing conditions, with paper mache walls, and a modern open floor plan communal space complete with an oven in the middle of the living room.

“There is so much to benefit from the FEMATM brand, Lego block building schematic,” Lead contractor for the project Webecca Maurone said. “It works exactly like most other well-loved functions, just drag and drop it into place!”

Prairie View hall has long held in its occupancy members of the CHOICE community, whose wikipedia entry says they support healthy, alcohol free environments. The hermit population, once accused of animal sacrifice during prior school years, seemed surprised and uncertain of the revitalization efforts.

“I just want to sit and play Samba De Amigo on my Dreamcast, I don’t even care where that happens,” Current Prairie View hall occupant and Sophomore Bill said before locking his door firmly. In line with design specifications, we could still hear the maracas shaking from within.

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