CAMPUS NEWS

Take Your Professor to the Flame Program Begins

SAINT PETER, MINNESOTA- It seems like dreams really do come true! Instead of the dated Take Your Professor to Lunch bullshit,  Gustavus students are finally able to introduce their favorite professors to their true selves: the ones that get plastered and throw popcorn anywhere and everywhere down at the Flame Bar and Grill. We caught up with the pioneer of this movement, Katrina Daley.

Daley excitedly told us about the future event. She said, “I love Gustavus and all of the professors, so I really wanted to do something special for them! They show up and teach us no matter how hungover or still-drunk we are and they deserve to be celebrated for that.”

She continued, “The idea came to me while I was still sloshed off of Cup Night at Hammers in my 8 am chemistry class with Dr. Jen Tristan. I’ve always felt a connection with her and I couldn’t stop thinking about how fun it would be to hit the town with my girl Jen! So I talked to CAB, who immediately were on board, and then President Bergman, who was totally behind the idea! She said as long as she got to be the one holding beer bongs for the profs she would even sponsor some of it!”

Take Your Professor to the Flame Night begins this Saturday. Get ready to hear what your history professor really thinks of that douchebag Brad in your class. Prepare to get demolished in quarters by your Swedish professor. But most of all, make sure to lose the last shreds of dignity you have because after this night, there will be no going back.

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS