CAMPUS NEWS

Student’s Grandma Passes Away for Third Time This Semester

SAINT PETER, MN- For freshman student Hunter McNeil, tragedy has struck once again. Not for the first, nor the second, but for the THIRD time this semester, his grandma passed away. We met with Hunter in his dorm room and asked him questions about this difficult time.

 

He said, “Well yeah uhhh… the first time she passed was the day of my first Organic Chemistry test. I remember it really well because I didn’t study- I mean, her passing was really hard on me and I wasn’t emotionally prepared to take that test until two weeks later.”

 

We sympathetically asked him to continue with the rest of this UNBELIEVABLE story. He told us, “The second time this same grandma passed away was when I was supposed to give a speech in my Public Discourse class but there was a Fortnite tournament going on at the same time. I know in my heart that Grammy would have wanted me to destroy in Fortnite so in honor of her, I rescheduled my speech to carry on her legacy.”

 

McNeil then went on to give us an overly detailed run through of his strategy for the video game which we have chose to omit for entertainment purposes. We were finally able to get him back on track as he told of the final time Grammy passed away, “Yeah I had to miss my World Religions class when she passed away the third time. I had already used my three unexcused absences so her passing really came at a convenient time.”

 

The world is a mysterious place full of crazy coincidences. If we had to guess, Hunter’s grandma might have one more death left in her for his fourth class, Spanish. He had one final question for us, “Wait, professors don’t read this paper right?”

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