SAINT PETER, MN- The Gustavus Peer Assistants have been placed under disciplinary censure after allegedly distributing actual pot brownies instead of regular and clean brownies.
Senior PA, Gina Sausage explained: “Every year we try to distribute informational brochures about the impacts of continual marijuana consumption. With the information, we usually hand-out brownies as a sort of reference to edibles. But this year, Chad really fucked up.”
Chad, a sophomore PA was tasked with baking and bagging brownies. “Man, I really screwed up. But, it’s kind of a funny story. I’m such a dummy! You see, I accidentally bagged the pot brownies I made instead of the regular brownies. I tried to eat a few of the brownies to make sure that I kept my pot and my project separate. But, all of a sudden I could see sound and I was on my hands and knees screaming for some McDonald’s fries.”
YvoNne Bamboozle, the dean of students commented: “Typically we would charge Chad with a level III offense, but this situation is so rich with irony! What kind of fool mixes up the dank batter with the straight batter? Even I know better!”
Many students share Bamboozle’s stance. “College is exhilarating!” said first-year Choice student, Isaac Johnson. “Good golly! I feel so alive!”
However, the downfall of Chad’s mistake is that many students have reportedly skipped class to enjoy the arb, eat some junk food, or discuss 9/11 conspiracy theories.
Categories: CAMPUS NEWS