CAMPUS NEWS

Senior Art Show Just a Bunch of Nudes

SAINT PETER, MN- Every spring, many departments host senior showcases where students share the results of their capstone/thesis/experiment. Even senior studio art majors finally get the attention they always seem to demand for. Typically, the Hillstrom museum alters their bustling schedule to make room for a showcase featuring the work of all graduating seniors.

In past senior showcases, visitors saw self-portraits, sloppily made “abstract” work, and mugs that looked suspiciously store bought. In what appears to be a bold change of course, the entirety of this year’s exhibit is composed of tasteful nudes, distasteful nudes, and, of course, a couple of nipples.

Showcase participant, Edward Holmes responded to the controversy: “We want to be heard, okay? The Gustavus Community needs to wake up. Body positivity is vital to a healthy atmosphere or something like that. What better way to generate productive conversation than display a butt-load of booty?”

Board of Trustee member, Shirley Johnson explained: “Look, if this is the result of thousands of dollars in tuition, I’m clearly out of fucking touch with all of these goddamn millennials. Just don’t bring prospective students near the exhibit. We want parents to realize the campus’ liberal agenda after they slap down the deposit.”

Many visitors are rendered speechless upon entry. Some merely mutter, “Niiiiiceeeee” followed by a couple of snaps with their fingers.

When asked about the impact of the exhibit on campus culture the instructor Dr. Star Fairchild said: “I believe the museum staff misheard us when we told them the name for our exhibit. We didn’t say ‘adieu,’ we said ‘a nude.'”

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