CAMPUS NEWS

Lost City of Atlantis Found in Gibbs Storage Closet

SAINT PETER,MN- Archaeologists across the country are gathering at Gustavus’s Gibbs hall following a discovery in the dorm’s storage closet last Tuesday. During end of the semester cleaning and cataloging, residential life staff lead by community coordinator Cuhpa Keigk, found the previously misplaced Lost City of Atlantis stored behind a fan and a collectors edition box of the One Piece manga.

The archaeologists, many representing the national organisation Supercool Archaeology Club (SAC), were eager to explore the city. Last seen off the western coast of mainland Greece in the 1300’s, experts and enthusiasts alike could not guess what would be in store for them once they were granted access to the historic site.

For those wondering about signs of the city’s presence hidden away in a rural college campus in the United States Midwest, Keigk was quick reply.

“We had gotten several reports from residents on the floor above complaining of a strong fishy odor,” Keigk said. “We directed the queries to Physical Plant, who found nothing of real interest.”

While Keigk was shocked at the discovery, other residential life employees were less than surprised.

“I’d been on duty three separate nights when I heard someone violating quiet hours at three in the morning,” Junior collegiate fellow Stephenhee Marbles said. “It sounded like an entire crowd was cheering, and what must have been like… a discus being thrown? … By the time I found the floor where the noise was coming from, it had gone silent.”

Across campus the Center for International and Cultural Education has put aside all other responsibilities in favor of revising their study abroad opportunities for the upcoming school year. Following their cancellation of study abroad programs to Russia, the CICE staff hope that offering an inaugural course in Atlantis will appease hurt feelings. Though no final decision was made, Gustavus administration is already prepared to support whatever choice the CICE pick.

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