CAMPUS NEWS

Tesla Unveils New, Fully-Electric Elon Musk

Palo Alto, CA- Tesla is known as a pioneer in the auto industry for producing the first batteries potent enough to run their flagship vehicles, but their most recent announcement is an innovation that will forever change much more than just transportation.  In a press conference this morning, representatives of the company unveiled the new, fully-electric CEO and entrepreneur Elon Musk. This marks a major leap forward in battery technology.

Developers in the conduction field have long seen this project as a sort of unreachable holy grail that one could only aspire for, never reach. With this announcement, the researchers at Tesla have silenced the critics and reclaimed their place as one of the most innovative companies in the world. When the first fully electric man in history started making his way to the stage, a spokesperson at the event was quoted saying, “this is one small step for Elon. No, really. Between his robotic legs and whole gigawatts of energy, he could probably jump across Niagara Falls.”

The mechanical wonder-boy was certainly impressive, if a bit stilted at first. His first words were, “Hello, everyone! It’s a pleasure to see you all here today. I am Elon Musk as you can see with your eyes. No need to look anywhere else. This is the real deal, baby.” The rest of the press conference went on without any problems. Elon seemed to be in good spirits about the whole thing- even cracking a few jokes. When one reporter asked what his next tweet was going to be about, Elon responded, “does not compute.” Hilarious!

 

 

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