ST PETER MN- We have been getting quite a few complaints from a Gustie named Felicia about how our articles are not, “aesthetically pleasing enough.” Since we all literally live under that one big painted rock, we had to do hours upon hours of research to figure out exactly what an “aesthetic” is. After much consultation, we really get it now; our articles will get more likes if they are a “visual masterpiece to the eye.” Here’s 9 things on campus that match our new aesthetic entitled “Big Mood.”
Compostable Cup
Those sleek lines and groovy letters just exemplify the organizational skills and fun that any college-student should strive for. You also have to watch out for the glorious moment when one of these cups springs a little leak, like we do when we laugh at our own jokes, or cry when nobody else does.
Left-Handed Desk
As a unique find in any Gustavus classroom, this little number may seem like the rest of the desks on campus. However, that slight mirroring effect gives it that whole rebellious “yeah I’m that rebel in my English class who likes to throw around that devil’s advocate card to piss people off” vibe.
Tape Dispenser On Garbage Can
Have you ever felt like every little thing that’s been holding your life together has been thrown away in an instant?
Info Desk
We heard that pumpkin-spice and everything nice is what is in this year. Visit this hot spot on campus with its pumpkins, leaves, and color-coordinating white boards and you will feel like you jumped head into Jenna from Interpersonal Communications picture-perfect, cozy Instagram.
The Fourth Crown’s Instagram
We thought long and hard about this, but what we may lack in beauty, we make up with Photoshop and clever word play. While we may not be as cool as Jenna from Interpersonal Communications’ Instagram feed, please take pity and follow us
CF On Duty Bag
This little black fanny pack just screams “I am a soccer-dad who needs to carry around a lot of personal size snacks for myself” and also symbolizes a sense of dread, despair, and sleepless nights for many. We like snacks, and we love causing trouble, so yeah.
Blank Post It Note
Have you had that moment where you plan on going all out on something, but then give up half-way through? We don’t know the story of this little guy, but one can only hope that someday he can find meaning for himself.
Dumpster
We are trash, and nothing anyone can ever do will change that. Hopefully this comes off as #relatable.
Nemo
Nemo is a majestic beauty whose god-like qualities cannot be attained by any human or cat. When we take one good look at Nemo’s rocking bod, every bad review we’ve gotten from our haters disappears into a beautiful, rainbow mist. Bye Felicia.
Categories: CAMPUS NEWS