SAINT PETER, MN- As an effort to really shit on her students, Professor Jane Hughes in the math department sent out an email today to her students letting them know that class was still scheduled as usual. As one student said, she “went so far as to use ‘Today’s class’ as the subject, I was damn near ready to jump back in bed. Now there is no bed, there is only sadness.”

Professor Hughes says that she added a little wink emoji to the end of her email, to lighten the mood a little bit. In response, several students are planning a walk-out demonstration. “She wanted to lighten the mood? Let’s see how she lightens the mood to an empty classroom”, said Junior Margaret Young.

At least two students are currently in the Counseling Center dealing with emotional trauma as a result of Professor Hughes’ actions. More on this story as it develops.