CAMPUS NEWS

GAC to Get Its Own GoT Spinoff Titled “Dean of Students”

ST PETER MN- Many nerdy celebrations were held late Sunday Night by Gusties when Game of Thrones Twitter Fan @NemoRocksMySocks leaked a statement stating that George R.R. Martin and other Game of Thrones creators plan on Game of Thrones creating a spinoff series centered around the Dean of Students Office and other Administration drama at Gustavus Adolphus College.  While many wondered how Martin and his team even found this small liberal arts school to begin with, @NemoRocksMySocks stated in their tweet that apparently Martin noticed that “Winter came” and “Winter keeps on coming and coming back,” so it felt like the perfect setting.

 

Our Photo-Guy Steve FaceTimed with Martin to spill the tea about this upcoming production.  We don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but we were told that this show will focus on the secret inner-workings of Gustavus’ own King’s Council: the Gustavus Administration.  The kicker is that while there are some likeable members in the OG Game of Thrones King’s Council, every character in this spinoff will be like the bratty King Joffrey from Season 2, but with the unlikeable level taken from 0 to “what the fuck” real fast.  Some plot points are going to include drama surrounding the lack of parking spots, the abundance of microaggressions, and some attempts at poison through some sneaky lettuce.

 

“Yeah, so I constantly feel betrayed about my rights as a student on this Campus and feel like I could get my head-chopped off for a pesky Title IX violation any second, so the show makes sense” said junior Carl Fredrickson. He also feels that this show will “perfectly illustrate my struggles as an affluent white-male on Campus.”

 

Fredrickson also wanted us to pass along to Martin that his favorite, unnamed cafeteria cashier should be personified as a fire-breathing dragon because it would be too perfect.

 

Dean of Students will premiere sometime in the next ten years, or whenever George R.R. Martin finishes his books, whichever comes first.

 

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