ST PETER MN- Homecoming weekend has come and gone, and the campus was subjected to the fanfare of Gusties from years past returning to campus and refusing to close their yearbooks. We here at the 4th Crown are always a little behind on the latest trends, but we decided to partake in the fanfare Monday night by reliving our fond first-year memories of crying and more crying and learning about the not-so-wonderful workings of the human digestive system by spending the night in Co-ed. Our Photo-guy Steve exiled his little brother Photo-Boy Jimmy from his room, and we channeled our inner HGTV Design Star to see if we’re going to fall back in love with campus’ most beloved dorm or if we’re going to list it to St. Thomas.

When we first sashayed into our fifth-floor room, we were met with the sweet smells of damp carpet and sweaty desperation. Naturally, the first item in the room we tried out was the bed, and, boy, were we surprised. Every Gustie knows that the college-regulated mattresses are firm, but when we got a little wild and tossed our cheap Dominos on the bed, the edge of the bed sliced cleanly through the dough. While the room sadly lacked a sink, that aesthetic brick wall totally made the Vsco girl in us want to clink our Hydroflasks to the high heavens. The brick wall did add a lot of character to this saucy little prison cell, but the crème de le crème was the window; its miniature size really emphasized the “we’re trapped here for the next four years vibe” that GAC strives for.

While we enjoyed our room more than the Greeters love tooting their own horns, the building is difficult to navigate around. According to our Photo-Guy Steve, he had an easier time traveling around the St. Peter streets back to GAC after a very lit night at the Flame than he did in Co-ed sober. While we were frustrated with the layout of the building, the refreshments were outstanding.  While we were wandering the building, we were greeted with a kind CF who shoved free pizza down our throats, and that was more than anything we could’ve asked for. While this free food was nice, the nightlife was depressing. The first-years we provided alcohol to only wanted to drink shots of Fireball and lost their cool too quickly and we just could not anymore and had to vroom vroom out of there.

Overall, we give Co-ed an average grade at best. While we wished we could stay in our cozy little room, the rest of the building left us disappointed. It’s perfect if you need someplace to rest your aching head and indulge in some cheap fun, but we wouldn’t recommend living in Coed forever and ever unless you want to completely transform into the ghost of Eric Norelius.