SAINT PETER, MN- Tired of dodging high schoolers left and right? Here’s how to make sure you never have to see any of them again.

1. Tell them about the annual Gustavus purge night.
2. Make them frost their own cookies like children.
3. Introduce them to any Gustie Greeter.
4. Bark at them.
5. Tell them that sometimes you have to pay for access codes just to do your homework.
6. Give them a tour of Lund.
7. Tell them about the witches that live in the arb. Actually that would be pretty cool.
8. Describe the parking lots situation.
9. Gradually get really sweaty throughout the tour.
10. Just be yourself.