SAINT PETER, MN— Gordon Ramsay, well-known chef, and better-known swear-word-sayer, came to Gustavus Adolphus College for his restaurant renovation show 24 Hours to Hell and Back. Needless to say, it went fan-fucking-tastic. At least, it went that way for those lucky few students who got to watch Chef Ramsay’s brain explode the second he stepped foot in the Evelyn Young Dining Room.

Chef Ramsay screamed non-stop until turning the shade of a beautiful fresh tuna fish and promptly passed out, but he still constructed a list of his top five favorite meals at the Caf. After throwing the enraged scratchings written in his own bloody tears through Google Translate.The list of the top five most edible items on the Caf’s menu reads as follows:

1. Water.
2.  
3.  
4.  
5.  

There you have it, Gusties. Gordon Ramsay’s selection of the most edible items in the Caf. Chef Ramsay was unavailable to answer questions as he has been forcefully sedated after his heart rate reached a nine on the Richter Scale.