Christ Chapel Renamed After 16th Century Witch in Celebration of Autumnal Season

ST. PETER, MN — With autumn underway and the aroma of fall settling upon campus, changes have been happening without the community’s awareness. The largely unheard of Wiccan Deliberation Circle has announced that the college landmark, Christ Chapel, is to be renamed after the famous 16th-century witch, Elly Kedward, who lived in colonial Maryland. This move comes as a surprise to many since most college deliberation circles take a few years just to pick a name, which leads students to wonder how long this change has been planned to take effect.

Student reactions have varied widely to this spooky move, with some rejoicing for the college’s acknowledgment of their Wiccan population, typically confined to the Multi-faith Center, and others furious over the fact that the college is no longer spoon-feeding validation to its substantial Christian population. “If we don’t have something named after Jesus, how will anyone know that we have Christians here?” said John Peterson, a second-year religion major, in response to the name change.

In conjunction with its newly minted name, The Kedward Coven will be hosting a multitude of original worship events in the coming weeks. The Wiccans Office, taking the place of the old Chaplain’s Office and located in the heart of the Arboretum forest, will be organizing a First-year sacrifice, totem building, robe sewing, and an Arb haunt, where first years equipped with 90’s era camcorders will be chased through the dark woods in a recreation of the centuries-old Wiccan tradition. “I’m just really thankful that we can support all faiths here at Gustavus. I’m really looking forward to getting in touch with my ancestral heritage!” said one senior environmental studies major. We here at the Fourth Crown are especially excited for the totem building, as there are a few writers at the Weekly we’ve guiltily fantasized tormenting.

While many rejoice at something other than Christianity being supported by the college, others have expressed their anger and disappointment with GAC. A group of students led by the aforementioned second-year, John Peterson, have formed the Gustavus Witch Tribunal, an unrecognized student organization in opposition to the growing Wiccan movement on campus.

From all of us here at the Fourth Crown; praise Satan and merry autumn!

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS