CAMPUS NEWS

The Dark Truth Behind Gus the Lion and his Handlers

ST. PETER, MN — For decades, Gusties around campus have been witness to the strange creature we all know and “love;” Gus the Lion. When released, the feline mascot can often be seen meandering his way through the Caf, standing passively in the Campus Center hallways, or taking selfies with students that you would never want to be friends with. During his period of freedom, students may notice that a squad of handlers never leave Gus’s side. Who are these strange operators and why is Gus never allowed to be alone? 

To answer these questions, The Fourth Crown launched an investigation this past autumn. Following several months of diligent reporting, a potential answer has finally come to light.

According to the Gustavus archives, in 1957 a group of six students was found mauled and buried in a cornfield near school grounds. While this case was never formally investigated by the St. Peter police department, college records indicate that an independent collegiate coalition was formed to investigate the bizarre deaths. Whatever they found has been lost to history, as the coalition was disbanded in 1958 prior to the release of their findings. Who authorized this termination, and what were they trying to hide?

College records indicate that the group of students, all members of the same student organization, had been scheduled to meet with Gus the night they disappeared. However, according to the college, this meeting never took place. 

Following the discovery of the missing students, records indicate that a new department was formed. This department, centered around Gus and said to serve as an advertising and development organization, strangely consisted almost entirely of pre-vet and national guard students, those best equipped to handle large, dangerous animals. It can be found that this department has persisted, existing today as those students who observe and control Gus.

While no formal connection has ever been made between the disappearance of those six students and the sudden formation of Gus’s oversight squad, an imaginative mind can see the lines connecting them. While we here at The Fourth Crown are unable to say anything definitive regarding Gus’s involvement in the tragic deaths, we strongly advise that Gusties never remain in a room alone with Gus and that they never hold raw meat or smell of food in his vicinity. Stay safe Gusties. More updates to follow.

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS