CAMPUS NEWS

Disgruntled Putin Unable to Solve Wordle of the Day: ‘Peace’

MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Over the past month or so, Wordle, a new and addicting internet word puzzle, has taken the world by storm.  Millions of people try their luck each day to see if they will be able to guess the daily word and brag about it to their friends, or if they will just have to act like they did.  One such unlucky player, Vladimir Putin, was recently unable to guess the word of the day: “Peace.”  

Putin’s failure to complete the puzzle came last week during what he cited as “a busy day of foreign affairs.”  The President of Russia said he was looking to unwind with some Wordle after a long day, only to come up short of guessing the word “Peace.”  “My go-to first guess is always “Annex,” so I thought I was on track with the A and the E.” stated a disappointed Putin.  Upon unsuccessfully guessing more words such as “Seize” and “Raids,” Putin ultimately was unable to guess the word in the end.  Initially in denial, Putin claimed he had never heard of that word and was pretty sure it was not a real thing.  As per protocol for political enemies of the Russian government, a KGB squad was sent to the New York Times headquarters in New York City to eliminate the vile puzzle at its source.  

Following his inability to solve the Wordle, Putin has suffered a large blow to his standing and reputation as a global leader.  Various other world leaders were reported to have solved the Wordle, some in as little as three guesses. “My first guess is always “Peace,” so today I lucked out!” said a visibly excited Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy.  According to a White House press release, President Biden was able to solve the word puzzle after turning on CNN and seeing the word written on a strange blue and yellow flag that he did not recognize.  More updates to follow. 

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