G-Choir Turns to Singing at Bat Mitzvahs Following Budget Cuts

ST. PETER, MN — The Covid-19 pandemic has thrown many an institution’s finances out of whack. The increased need for Personal Protective Equipment, subsidized wages, and other profit-cutting measures have left little room for what one might consider unnecessary expenditures. Gustavus is no exception. Various sectors across campus have had their budgets slashed in order to supplement funds for all those big-ass hanging plexiglass slabs and round floor stickers denoting six-foot distances. The Dance team can’t afford uniforms, D-Ball is being hosted at the downtown Taco-Johns, and, worst of all, the world-renowned Gustavus Choir has no tour budget. 

Touring either domestically or internationally is truly what sets G-choir apart from the rest of the musical ensembles on campus. “Knowing I might not get to sit in a big bus and drive around the plainest parts of the country is really hard,” shared sophomore chorist Madeline Schprong, “at this point, what’s the difference between me and a Lucia singer! I mean, other than the fact I got into G-Choir.” Many student singers share similar sentiments, wondering what they can do to emulate the exciting experience of traveling and singing when they simply don’t have the funds. 

“Luckily, my neighbor’s kid was turning 12 and they needed a musical act for her Bat Mitzvah. He knew the choir wasn’t doing much and asked if we’d be available to sing,” stated G-Choir director Brandon Dean, “after our performance, we started getting booking requests left and right for Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs, Celebrations of Entering Divine Womanhood, Sweet Sixteens, you name it.” You read that right, reader. G-Choir is the hottest new musical act on the coming-of-age celebration entertainment circuit. Not only is the choir able to share their talent with captive audiences, but they also get PAID, thus funding future tours in lieu of the College’s usual budget. 

“I’m really surprised how much I enjoy singing for awkward teens and their friends and family. My favorite experience was when we sang a choral arrangement of Wheatus’s “Teenage Dirtbag” before the birthday boy’s dad gave a speech about manhood and body hair” shared senior tenor Barry Barisont. “It’s definitely different from normal tours, cuz sometimes we get cake. Or other times we get mistaken for other teenage partygoers, so we get more cake.” said bass singer Blorin James, who was actually eating a fistful of cake during this interview. G-choir’s perseverance in light of budgetary issues is inspiring, and we at the Fourth Crown wish them luck on their endeavors to break into performing at weddings.

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS